Superstud Seeks SWF

Can anyone help me with my OKCupid dating profile? Barbarian gigolos are not very tech-savvy.

To the left is my profile pic. Does that headband make me look fat?

Anyway, here's what I wrote so far...

Personal Info

Name: Samson a.k.a. “Lord Thundercock”

Occupation: Barbarian Playboy

Religion: Pagan (with guru-level mastery of Tantric sex techniques)

Birthplace: Corsica

Race: Gypsy

Hobbies: Threesomes, swordfights, tantric sex, slaying dragons, pleasuring harems, rescuing damsels in distress, and then causing the sweet lasses to faint from one too many multiple orgasms.

Physical Attributes

Hair: Black, Waist-Length

Eye Color: Blue

Height: 6’ 6”

Weight: 275 pounds

Muscular Attributes

Body Fat Index: 2%

Arms: 26 inches

Chest: 62 inches

Waist: 34 inches

Thighs: 29 inches

Barbell Curl: 500 lbs. (10 reps)

Bench Press: 1500 lbs.

Leg Press: 5000 lbs.

Sexual Attributes (I really need to find where to put it on my dating profile.)  

Flaccid Penis: 8.5 x 6 in. (length x girth)

Erect Penis: 13.5 in. x 8.5 in. (length x girth)

Testicular Weight: 1 lb. (per testis)

Average Number of Ejaculations Per Encounter: 7

Average Ejaculatory Volume: 100 ml

Refractory Period: 0.1 sec
Lifetime Number of Sexual Partners: 5000+